Hello everyone, It’s me again! This weekend, the Champions League trophy will be up for grabs and we will finally get to know which team between Barcelona and Juventus is Europe’s top dog. No prizes for guessing who I think will win. Messi to score 2+ goals. Just saying.
With that being said, I know many of you will be on Twitter and Facebook rooting for your team. The manner in which some of you do it is hillarious. Today, let me guide you to the perfect steps of being a top Barca fan:
- Comment “Penaldo” everywhere, even on posts that have NOTHING to do with Barcelona, Real Madrid or football in general
- Call everyone who offends your club a “Madridiot” regardless of whether the points being made are valid or not
- Insult anyone who says that someone is better than Messi in a certain criteria, including the likes of Pele, Maradona, Sir Alex Ferguson, Martin Tyler, Rafael Nadal, the school janitor etc.
- Relate anything to Franco and claim it to be totally legit history
- Comment “passion > money” and forget your club paid 110m for Neymar and claimed it to be only 70 million and are also banned from transfer market for doing illegal activities. But ‘FIFAlona’ exists, yea?
- Comment “Penaldo” everywhere, again.
- If a player from your club misses a penalty, including Messi, he did it because he is human. If a player from ANY OTHER club misses a penalty, he’s the worst footballer in the planet.
- If a player from Madrid scores a penalty, he is pena-*insert suffix here*. If he misses it, make fun of him for a couple of months, possibly even years.
- If you try to compare Barca to any other club, you should start from 2009. If someone goes beyond, you have to comment “history channel” and “Franco conspiracy”.
- If Ronaldo scores a ‘tap-in’ he is the most overrated player on the planet. but if Neymar does the same, he is the best young player in the planet (cruelly insult all who say Hazard is better)
- Finally, comment “Penaldo” and “Madridiot” everywhere so Barca could be proud of your unwavering support.
PS: Good luck to Juve and Barca! It will be a terrific final.